Eat This, Not That (DUH) - Part II

Oh Dear Sister,
As you know, I've been contemplating training for a 10k. I mean, sure I *did* actually register for it, but that whole putting on running shoes and getting out the door and moving at a speed greater than walking part has thus far failed to materialize. I'm still committed to the event, and today I hit the under-60-day mark. Scary.

Needing some inspiration, I had to look no further than the front page of the New York Times last week, to a story on elderly athletes. One look at this image of 81-82 year olds taking off from the sprinting blocks, and I realized my days of flimsy excuses were over. To wit:

These men have better physiques in their Golden Years than I did in my teens. What gives?

Dear Sister,

Before you become too inspired, I suggest trying to find a picture of what they looked like at the finish line. I say this as the fellow on the right looks like he is simultaneously taking off from the sprinting block and having a heart attack.

I'm off to get McDonald's.

Love,

Your Sister

Birds of a Feather

Dear, dear Sister,

I was on Target.com yesterday and what did mine eyes behold? Only a chair of exquisite beauty and taste. A moss print of birds and floral nonetheless? I want, I need, I covet.

Because like Celine's heart, my love of green will go on and on...

That's a great little story, Dear Sister. I almost paid attention. Now let me tell you about this great orange chair I just saw on Target.com. It's orange and floral and...d'oh! It's the exact. Same. Chair.Don't I feel sheepish...

Now all my dreams have come true

Dear Sister, a couple years ago you forced me to watch American Idol. And by force, I mean you turned it on and I couldn't turn away. And yes, that was the year of Sanjaya. Just when I thought I could file that experience under "Things that make me want to claw my eyes out," he's back - and I'm so afraid.

And no, no one should ever title their first single as such - because he's the only one who cares about the music in his head.

Gosh, Dear Sister, you'd better get thee to an eye doctor today, because between the burning and the clawing, I'm guessing it's going to take more than Visine to get the red out. But alas, I digress.

Let's be honest: Sanjaya's luscious locks and exorbitant eyebrows - not to mention that 14-year-old facial scruff - are simply too magnetic to resist. If the music in his head is manifesting itself in the hair on his head, then I say dance. Dance! Dance like you've never danced before...

Tiny Tim...er Tom

Dear Sister: Whilst browsing People early this morning, I came across this picture, and my first thought was - has Tom shrunk? I mean based on this picture...

Yes, Dear Sister, he has apparently left the lifts at home this time. More pressing, though, is the constant matching of these two. To wit:

The "Boyfriend Jeans"

The "Awkward Hand-Holding Ill-Fitting Blazers"

and, the "I Can't Believe They're So Identical Looking Suits"

Call me crazy, but I can't help but think that this is the next logical step: