Dawson's Darling's De-Pantsed

Dear Sister,

I might consider halting my criticism of Mrs. Cruise, but when she walks around looking like Tinkerbell's older, worn-out cousin that has two mortgages and a drug problem, I just can't help myself...

Dear Sister: I see London, I see France, I see Joey Potter's underpants.

Let us never speak of this again.

De-pantsing, Stage right, Stat!

Oh Dear Sister, this outfit. This outfit. I mean, the top would perhaps be acceptable with a pencil skirt and a simple pair of pumps. But the pants would be good with...nothing.

Dear Sister, Au contraire, these pants would go beautifully with propane and a match.

[Insert Clever Title Here]

I'm left agog, Dear Sister, or rather - I should say a"Gaga" - at the sight of these boots. Nine, count 'em NINE sets of laces are there...and that's just the front! Do note that the back laces up, too! I couldn't even come up with a witty title for this posting because I'm left so friggin' speechless.

Chere sister, since I'm speechless as well, I will rely on the infamous wisdom of Ludacris:

I'ts a Ho wide world, that we livin' in

Feline feminine fantastical women

Not all, just some

You Ho who you are

There's Ho's in the room, there's Ho's in the car

There's Ho's on stage, there's Ho's by the bar

Ho's by near and Ho's by far...

Dear Sis, I think you get the point...

Addendum: Ho yes I do!

Flowbee Flub

Well shucks, Dear Sister, I know I've been one to extol the virtues of a good home haircut every now and again, but this looks like the unholy love child of a Flowbee devotee and Totally Hair Ken (replete with doll-size Dep Hair Gel). What was Kellie Pickler thinking?

I have no idea what she's thinking. Perhaps she's not - maybe she's tired or just can't keep her eyes open with all of that makeup. What I do know is now all she needs is a Snuggee!