Read My Lips

It shouldn't be hard, dear sister, since I'm wearing them on my finger! Add a bit of Barbie bling with these one-of-a-kind jewelry pieces from Margaux Lange. Just don't expect this kind of style to come cheap.

Barbie Beach Party Teresa Doll from Toys "R" Us: $6.49.

Pink Barbie Smile Ring: $140.00.

Getting someone to kiss your ring: Priceless.

Dear Sister, I know that you always have your ear to the ground for the latest fad, and for that skill, I would give an arm. But don't forget, when spreading the trends by word of mouth, try not to be a boob about it.

Really?

Yes, dear sister. Really...

BoGo gone wrong

Totes my dear sister, I agree with you on Michelle Obama's choice on red. Though I hardly noticed that night as part of the mass of humanity in Grant Park, but I can only surmise that perhaps Michelle was reclaiming the color red - she is going to OWN that color...own it!!


What I cannot find a reason to is this fun confection of something. I'm drug free and proud, but this outfit makes me doubt that decision.

Dear Sister, I love BoGo time at Payless as much as the next saavy shopper, but never has it crossed my mind to wear one of each at the same time...at least not in the past few months. I'm sure there's a fashion statement in here somewhere, but I can't get past all the patterns and colors. I think perhaps I prefer when Joss Stone chooses to wear no shoes at all on the carpet?

Oh Dear Sister, I...uh...well. Okay, let's just say that- Wait, let me start over. I... For example...

I give up. Words fail me.

Betcha THAT Didn't Cost $150,000

You know, dear sister, many are criticizing Michelle Obama's choice of dress last night, saying the Narciso Rodriguez frock didn't flatter her frame. But that was the least of my concerns. I think the fit was fine. The bigger question is why did she and her oldest daughter choose red? Isn't that the color of the other party? Where was the tried and true Democratic blue? Curious, don't you think?

Isn't she De-ugly?

Dear Sister: I think the doves did cry when they saw this cover image. I love Kate Winslet, she's totes awesome. But even she cannot carry the weird lion-mane hare, boring white coat, and overdone airbrushing. The accompanying article, "Isn’t She Deneuvely," is typical Kate - frank and interesting. But my dear fashionista sister, does this cover not make you say Quel horreur??

Oh, Dear Sister, an abomination indeed! And this from a woman who was "outraged" a few years back when GQ reduced her thighs to the size of my upper arms for their cover shoot. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Oh, and the FemBots called: they want their hair back.

Oh, and the Snow Queen called: she wants her coat back.

Oh, and Madonna from 1983 called: she wants her eyebrows back.

Oh, and I'm calling: I want those shoes. Those are actually really cool

Tiny Tim...er Tom

Dear Sister: Whilst browsing People early this morning, I came across this picture, and my first thought was - has Tom shrunk? I mean based on this picture...

Yes, Dear Sister, he has apparently left the lifts at home this time. More pressing, though, is the constant matching of these two. To wit:

The "Boyfriend Jeans"

The "Awkward Hand-Holding Ill-Fitting Blazers"

and, the "I Can't Believe They're So Identical Looking Suits"

Call me crazy, but I can't help but think that this is the next logical step: