Dawson's Darling's De-Pantsed

Dear Sister,

I might consider halting my criticism of Mrs. Cruise, but when she walks around looking like Tinkerbell's older, worn-out cousin that has two mortgages and a drug problem, I just can't help myself...

Dear Sister: I see London, I see France, I see Joey Potter's underpants.

Let us never speak of this again.

Food, meet mouth.

Dear Sister,

Why for the love of all that is sacred and holy are small children allowed to eat food like this? It isn't cute or endearing...it's messy and irritating.

Also, why do I feel like Suri's looking at me with the eyes of an old woman?

Oh Dear Sister, where to begin? First of all, eating like a primate is no longer allowed once one is old enough to order a pain du chocolat on ones own at the patisserie. Second, a gleaming robot mother does nothing to discourage such behavior. Third, I believe the old-woman eyes to which you are referring are these:
Drag Me To Hell indeed.